Tag Team Hopefuls (Featuring Zachariah Krahe)

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The scene opens up to the interior of a McDonald’s, the camera fixed on the menu. All of the world famous sandwiches and entrees are there, but beside their american name is their taiwanese name. There is even taiwanese scrawl underneath the Golden Arches, signifying that Valor Pro has landed in Taiwan. Finally, the camera zooms out a bit more, and settles on two men having a meal together in the dine in area.

In front of Rex Rumble is a feast fit for the obese, with two Big Mac’s, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a Twenty Piece Chicken Nugget w/dipping sauces, and three large orders of their trademark fries. To wash all of this down, a large coke classic and a strawberry milkshake. Rex stuffs nuggets, burgers, and fries into his mouth, all at the same time, voraciously, as if he hasn’t eaten in days.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table sits Zachariah Krahe, cool, calm, and collected, and looking a little bored. In front of him is a small McCoffee, and a small order of fries. He dances one of the golden delicious potatoes around his plate, every once in awhile looking up in a grimace as his tag team partner for this coming Sunday scarfs down a mouthful that would choke a donkey.

Rex, for his part, doesn’t seem to notice, continuing his messy table manners while also explaining to Krahe the finer points of Tag Team Wrestling.

“NO, Seriously! Terry Hero and Kris Angel were great as a tag team, yeah! They weren’t no 80’s Terry Hero, world heavyweight champion, but they were still great! BLARP!” Rex wipes his mouth on his sleeve after the burp, and them moves right on ahead. “But we got stiff competition in this tournament, Yeah, ALMOST INSURMOUNTABLE, YEAH!”

In a whisper now, almost more to himself than Krahe or anyone in particular, he frames a pep talk for himself while chowing down on two nuggets at a time.

“Mmm notice how I said, almost, yeah, they don’t even know what kind of package they are unveiling, yeah, opening pandora’s box, yeah, dynamite inside, just ready to explode, LIKE A POWDER KEG, YEAH!”

The sudden tone of whisper to outburst sends several of the Taiwanese patrons scuttling for the door, and Rex looks around apologetically before hunkering down, and leveling a french fry in Krahe’s direction.

“You know what we need to get this tag team of ours off the ground?”

Krahe was bemused, but also a little uncertain, preoccupied with thoughts of last show, and being ten pounds lighter. His eyebrow raises questioningly, and just when he’s about to respond, Rex cuts him off abruptly and loudly.

“A MONTAGE, YEAH!”

“A montage?” Krahe asks incrudually.

Rex is nearly coming out of his seat, eyes going wild and crazy as he nods like a bobble head on a bumpy road.

“That’s right, a montage! All great teams can sum up their entire experience and greatness in thirty seconds or less of clips to a fantastic 80’s song! A MONTAGE, KRAHE! A MONTAGE! LET’S GET STARTED, YEAH!”

WIth that Rex spins away from the table and starts heading for the door, Krahe watching him leave. The Catalyst looks down at the mess left behind by his tag team partner, and he sighs deeply before starting to clean it up.  A few words come to mind to survey the situation.

“God Damn It!”

*****SOMETIME LATER***** 

Jitterbug

A short video clip of Rex Rumble's profile stepping into frame, wearing his trademark neon green cowboy hat and matching jacket, staring intently straight ahead.

Jitterbug

A short video clip of Zachariah Krahe's profile stepping into frame, staring straight ahead and uncertain of what exactly it is he's doing here.

Jitterbug

Another short clip of Rex Rumble, but this time his crazy eyes turn to stare abruptly in the camera, bearded mouth twitching, and a slight quiver dancing across his forehead that might be a stroke.

Jitterbug

Another short clip of Zachariah Krahe, who is forced by someone to turn and look at the camera, his grey eyes unable to fully convey his utter confusion.

You put the boom boom into my heart (hoo, hoo)
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain (yeah, yeah)

A clip of Rex and Krahe in a gym somewhere in Taiwan, with Rex indicating that he requires more weights on the bar before lying down on the bench press.

Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same
But something's bugging you (ha-ha, ha-ha)
Something ain't right (ha-ha, ha-ha)

A clip of Krahe rooting Rumble on as he pushes the bar off the safety rails, and then also the bar coming crashing down on his chest, knocking the wind out of him as Krahe is distracted by a group of jazzersizers over in the corner.  

My best friend told me what you did last night (ha-ha, ha-ha)
Left me sleepin' in my bed (ha-ha, ha-ha)
I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead (ha-ha)

A clip of Krahe apologetically pulling the bar from Rex's chest and back on the safety rails.  Rex immediately comes up, waggling an oddly wobbly finger in Krahe's face, while his wild eyes tell the story of whatever it is he's yelling at him.

Wake me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you go-go

A clip of Krahe and Rex on a two seat bicycle, peddling away down one of the Bangkok streets while street patrons yell and raise their fists at them for their near misses down the narrow corridor.

I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go-go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo

A clip of Krahe and Rex rounding a corner in the city, and happening upon a group of Taiwanese school girls playing hop scotch on a chalk covered sidewalk.  Krahe steps up, and the girls slide out of the way as he hops through, and they all clap.  Rex steps up and does the same, but at the end lets out a neon green roar, which sends the girls scattering.  Rex looks around to see what's wrong, and Krahe steps up beside him with hands on hips, giving him 'The Look'.

Wake me up before you go-go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah)

A clip of Rex grilling out on a patio, and placing the burgers on buns and then delivering them to a table for two where Krahe sits, nursing a cigarette.  He looks skeptically at the burger before taking a bite, but then his expression changes to one of amazement, as he mouths that 'These are good, where'd you get them."

You take the grey skies out of my way (hoo, hoo)
You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day
Turned a bright spark into a flame (yeah, yeah)

Rex is pleased that Krahe likes his cooking, and points to a butcher shop across the street.  When Krahe follows the Unkempt Hero's finger, his eyes go wide at the sight of dogs and cats, their skins removed, hanging in the window.  Krahe immediately starts to spit and heave, while Rumble guffaws in the background.

My beats per minute never been the same
'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool (ha-ha, ha-ha)
It makes me crazy when you act so cruel (ha-ha, ha-ha)

The duo walk into a Taiwanese general store that is being held up by a masked man, and Krahe see's the gun and shoves Rumble out of the way when it swings their way. That's when the shop keeper cracks the assailant over the head with a cast iron frying pan, resulting in the attacker hitting the ground unconscious. Krahe wipes his brow in relief, while Rumble steps back to his side, nibbling on a piece of beef jerky.

Come on, baby, let's not fight (ha-ha, ha-ha)
We'll go dancing, everything will be all right (ha-ha)

The two walk into a Disco, and immediately Rumble rushes the center of the dance floor, doing a perfect rendition of Saturday Night Fever, and then coming to a stop to point at Krahe. Krahe shrugs, and does the famous Vega dance from Pulp Fiction, and the two throw their arms around each other in laughter as they are drowned out by Taiwanese fans.

Wake me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you go-go

A clip of a muscular arm with a neon green armband rising up against a black background comes into view.

I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go-go
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo

A clip of a muscular, but more sinewy arm rises much the same as the other, minus the green armband.

Wake me up before you go-go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Suddenly the two arms swing into frame at the same time, the hands they are attached to slapping together in a brother embrace, and the scene fades back to see Krahe and Rumble, hands clasped, nodding to one another seriously before fading to black.