Post by Press1269 on Feb 14, 2020 21:03:13 GMT
PHILO: Alright peeps, it’s time for our Main Event of the evening, and it’s one of those that you don’t want to miss, Yo! Hopefully it won’t go the way of our last Main Event which had us all squirming in our seat over the brutality.
CHARISSA: Yeah, and it’s one of the reasons that DVD for WICKED#4 will never see the light of day. After that vicious post match attack from Stevie Harris on Johnny Raike, using that noose….well, I just don’t see how Raike will ever be the same again.
PHILO: I wouldn’t count the most liberated man in professional wrestling out yet, Charissa. Johnny Raike is one of the toughest competitors that PAW has ever seen, and he’s one of our participants in this match tonight.
CHARISSA: Yeah, but he’s partnered up with Flaming Youth, co-member of The BombTrax, and those two have a history going all the way back to that other place.
PHILO: True, but those two are professionals, and this is a match that will determine who will go on to face one another in a #1 Contender match at our St. Patrick’s Day Super Show. Surely they’ll be able to put their differences aside in order to ensure they are the two participants that advance.
CHARISSA: Maybe, but you have to wonder whether the other two teams will be able to do that. I get the distinct vibe that O’Donnell is not the kind of guy who plays well with others. Matter of fact, none of these people do. Calvin Harris is a man unto himself. Tyler Keenan is pretty much in love with himself, and for good reason. And Trixie, well, she thinks she’s God’s gift to the world because she’s some sort of self-imposed beauty queen. You know, that bit….
PHILO: (cutting Charissa off) Yeah, yeah. Every time another pretty face comes down the rampway you feel threatened. We get it.
Charissa looks at Philo with that ‘excuse me’ expression just about the time the arena goes dark, and words appear on the big screen above the entrance.
"When the sun rises
I wake up and chase my dreams
I won't regret when the sun sets
Cause I live MY LIFE like I'm a beast
I'm a mothafucking beast"
"Ayo back to make you run around the game like it’s a fire
I spit acid bitch like I got cyanide in my saliva
Watch me wet and heat shit up like I'm a washer and a dryer
While I beat you in your head until you tire"
"I'm a motherfucking beast"
As the beginning notes of "Beast" begins to play, the arena goes to darkness. With the beats kicking in, "The Distinguished" slowly walks out with a huge smirk on his face as the fans welcome him with a chorus of boos throughout the arena.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: "Coming to the ring, weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds, from Boston, Massachusetts, representing "The Unstable"! He is "THE DISTINGUISHED" CEE JAY OOOOOO... DDOONNNNEELLLL!!!"
As O'Donnell slowly makes his way down to the ring he cannot help but take in all the insults and jeers from the crowd.
"I'ma motherfucking beast
I'ma, I'ma fuckin' beast
I'ma mothafuckin' beast
Fucking mothafucking beast
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)"
"I'm a motherfucking beast right
Homie welcome to the east side, where the killers reside
We playing war games, please hide
Ain't no signs of peace, so fuck a peace sign, we ride
Bust shots from a car seat
Or maybe hang you 'til your neck is broke
Choke with you with a Stethoscope
That's how I kill a motherfucker in a heartbeat on a dark street"
Caleb reaches the end of the entrance way and is making his way up the ring steps. Once CJ gets on the top step he raises his arms up in the air which only causes more boos from the audience tonight.
"I'ma I'ma fuckin' beast!
I'ma mothafuckin' beast
Fucking mothafucking beast
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)"
CJ enters the ring and he takes off his black Unstable t-shirt. He rolls it into a ball and acts like he is about to toss it into the crowd but instead he drops it over the top ropes and it lands on the outside on the floor. CJ begins to stretch in the corner as he awaits for the bell to ring.
"I'm a motherfucking beast!"
‘Take It Off’ by the Donna’s kicks out over the PA system, and Trixie breaks through the curtain and does a twirl to bend over and showcase her firm apple bottom to the crowd before turning around to flaunt her ring attire and bite her finger. She pauses on stage just for a moment in this pose before walking in a straight line down the ramp, swaying her hips to get the attention of the guys in the crowd, blowing kisses at the guys and enjoying the jealousy of the girls.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: Introducing his partner, standing at 5’6” tall, and weighting in at 133 lbs, hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, she is ‘The Blonde Beauty’…..TRIXIEEEE!!!!
Trixie steps onto the apron and gyrates her hips before stepping into the ring very slowly to allow all the photos to be taken before finally stepping to the center of the ring and giving a playful wink to the referee and C.J. O’Donnell.
O’Donnell’s response is cut off by the opening riff of "Your Betrayal" by Bullet For My Valentine bouncing off the arena's speakers. The fans instantly recognized the song, and their attitudes completely and utterly changed to one of loathing. Only a few seconds had passed since the song began to play when the curtain could be seen being slowly pulled back. Stepping out a moment later was none other than the man known as the Martyr of Pro Wrestling himself, Calvin Harris. Seeing the man causes the crowd to uproar again, but this time with louder boos and jeers. Standing center of the stage, Calvin looks around the ring with a smug smirk on his lips. The type of smug smirk that would make people want to knock it right off his expression. Calvin begins stretching his arms out to either side of him, almost like he was encouraging the crowd to give him more hate. After a few moments he lowered his arms back down at his side and began to slowly make his way down the ramp.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: And one of their opponents, Introducing at this time all the way from Chicago, Illinois. Weighing in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds. He is known as the Martyr of Pro Wrestling. . . CALVIN HARRIS!
By the time that he has been introduced to the crowd, Calvin is halfway down the ramp, seeming to be in no hurry. His smirk remains on his expression as he lets out a couple of chuckles at those fans he deems pathetic until reaching the ringside area. Calvin takes a couple of steps towards the ring and reaches up with his right hand grabbing the middle rope. He proceeds to pull himself up onto the apron and onto his knees, and in one swift motion pushes himself right up to his feet. He lifts one leg over the middle rope, ducks down under the top, and finds himself in the ring. Calvin takes the nearest turnbuckle and climbs to the second rung and looks out at the booing crowd. The fans continued to boo at the slow procession.
All of a sudden he brings his hands up and out to each side of him while tilting his head back a bit. It was almost like he was in a position where he was forcing the crowd to "bask" in all his glory or as if he was wanting them to "praise" him. As his theme faded away, Calvin comes out of the pose, turns himself around, leaps down from the turnbuckle and bounces around on his feet staring across the ring at O’Donnell and Trixie.
Trixie rolls her eyes at Harris while O’Donnell looks more than eager to wipe the smile off his face. The tension is broken up as ‘Hate Me’ by Escape the Fate begins to play, and a spotlight shines down on the middle of the stage. As the lead singer screams, Keenan walks out from behind the curtain with his hands firmly dug in the pockets of the black hoodie he is wearing, hood up to hide his hair. He walks out further onto the stage, before he spins on his heels, throwing his head back to remove the hood. He immediately then rips his hands from his pockets and outstretches them as gold rain-like pyro rains down in front of him. After a few seconds, he spins back around and folds his arms, before screaming out with a smile on his face and walking down to the ring.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: And his partner, standing at 6’1” tall, and weighting in at 200 lbs. Hailing from Hollywood, California….The Modern-Day Wordsmith….TYLER KEENAN!!
Keenan hopped up onto the ring apron, his grin still plastered on his face as he jumped over the top rope and into the ring. He isn’t allowed much fanfare as the opening chords to ‘Stranglehold’ by Ted Nugent abruptly bring his entrance to an end. Red strobe lights flicker all around the building, and finally settle on the entry way where the silhouette of Flaming Youth can be seen standing in the curtain. These words can be seen clearly up on the four screens.
YOUTH IS A MINDSET
MY FLAME IS ETERNAL
At the chorus of the song he bursts through, and spins around on the rampway, reaching out to the crowd who scream in adulation. He comes to a teetering stop facing the ring, a coy grin on his face, shaking his finger ‘no’ tauntingly at the four competitors already in the ring.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: And their opponents, introducing first, standing at 5’10” tall, and weighting in at 195 lbs. Hailing from New Orleans, Louisiana….One half of The BombTrax….FLAMING YOUTH!!!
At the mention of his name he takes off into a sprint to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope, and popping up with his hands over his head. Dashing over to the corner he bounds up to the second rope, and scans the crowd, talking jive as the fans soak it all up. With a short hop, he spins so that he’s now facing the ring, and takes a seat on the top rope to await his partner, while keeping a wary eye on the other four in the ring.
‘Pure Morning’ by Placebo wafts across the speakers in the arena, and without any further a-do Johnny Raike emerges from behind the curtain, wearing a black vinyl trench coat over his ring gear. He wastes no time up on the stage before sauntering down the rampway totally lost in the music, running his hands sensually over his own chest.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: Introducing his partner, standing at 6’1” tall, and weighting in at 195 lbs. Hailing from Astoria, Queens, New York…..The Most Liberated Man In Wrestling….JOHNNY RAIKE!!!!
Johnny stops for a minute, eyeing a hotty in the front row, and makes his way over, producing a business card from somewhere in his jacket. She swoons, when he notices behind her an even more attractive male. He grins, and produces a second card for him, and then uses his finger to indicate both of them, before rubbing the same finger up and down his body. With a flash of a smile, Raike removes his coat, storms up the steps, and then hops into the ring, coming to a stop to look up at the other five members of what could only be described as a cluster fuck.
Youth hops down from his perch now, stepping over to Raike, who is supposed to be his partner for the evening. As the two men exchange words, C.J. O'Donnell steps over and mouths something to Raike, who turns his attention from Youth to step right up into O'Donnell's face.
The other combatants draw closer as the two opponents continue jawing and begin to move to the center of the ring, still nose to nose. Raike makes a final comment to O'Donnell, which is blatantly unflattering, resulting in C.J. raring back to take a swing. As the punch sails through the air, Raike ducks, and O'Donnell follows through with a fist right into Flaming Youth's mouth. In that moment, time stands still. All six competitors, the fans, A-Ref, everyone falls into a silence. The entire situation is summed up by our color commentator who earns every bit of that moniker with her next statement.
CHARISSA: (in slow motion) Ooooohhhh Shiiiittttt!!
In a flash, time catches back up to the present, and all hell breaks loose, as Youth lunges at O'Donnell, sending both men between the ropes and to the outside on the concrete. Both men roll around, trading punches and cheap shots where they can find them.
Raike smirks at his partner’s misfortune, but doesn’t get to enjoy it for long, as Tyler Keenan rushes Raike and catches him around the midsection, driving him back into the far corner. Keenan continues his shoulder thrusts, as Raike brings the point of his elbow down into the man’s shoulders.
Calvin Harris just shakes his head at all of this, before turning to look directly at Trixie who just shrugs. She winks in his direction, and just as he’s about to return the gesture, she brings the tip of her boot directly up into his crotch for what she likes to call the ‘Couldn’t Help Myself'. His eyes bulge from their sockets as he reaches for his nether regions, and crumples to the mat, accompanied by applaud and cheers from the fans for his discomfort.
PHILO: Well, that’s it, Pandemonium just broke open its gates!
CHARISSA: Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Kicked that mother fucker right in the nuts! Maybe I was wrong about ole’ girl.
PHILO: What, now you like her?
CHARISSA: I wouldn’t go that far, but she knows what a girl likes to see.
The commentators are abruptly cut off as Flaming Youth’s head bounces off their table, O’Donnell looming over him with a grim look on his face. He grabs the high flyer by another fist full of hair, and drives his head once again back down into the announce table, this time with authority. Youth stumbles away, holding his face, as O’Donnell trudges after him. Just as they reach the steps, O’Donnell spins youth around, and after a few hard right hands, takes the man by the hand, and sends him sailing towards the steel barricade.
At the absolute last second Youth leaps up, landing perfectly on top of the steel structure, and then springs backwards into a moonsault that catches O’Donnell completely by surprise. Both men are wiped out by the maneuver, while the action continues in the ring.
Meanwhile, in the ring, Tyler Keenan thrusts his shoulder one final time into Raike’s midsection, before rising up, and firing in right hands. Raike slumps in the corner, dazed from the assault, before Tyler takes Raike by the hand to throw him to the far side. His plan is stalled, however, as he looks over his shoulder to see Trixie standing over his partner, nudging him with the heel of her boot.
Keenan abandons Raike to take on Trixie, but Johnny has other ideas as he holds onto Tyler before he can start over there. Keenan spins back around to deal with the Most Liberated Man In Wrestling, but instead, is pulled into his clutching arms, and sent for a ride courtesy of an overhead belly to belly by Raike. Still relatively close to the corner they had been battling in, Keenan’s body has nowhere to land as the small of his back strikes the top turnbuckle, and he crashes awkwardly down onto his neck and shoulders.
PHILO: Jesus Christ! Keenan’s going to need a fucking toke after that!
CHARISSA: Damn Right! Do you think Johnny would give me one of those business cards? I mean, I’d like to see what’s going on behind the scenes at that kissing booth of his.
PHILO: Really, Charissa? Really? We’ve got a match of this magnitude, both inside and outside the ring, and you’re thinking about bumping uglies with Johnny Raike?
CHARISSA: Listen, Philo, a girl’s got to have her priorities straight. Constance Church thought this gig was set in stone, and look what happened to her! If this shit goes south, I might have a shot with Raike at the Kissing Booth. I hear he likes a girl with some fashionable tattoos.
PHILO: Yeah, well he didn’t like that slap that Trixie just gave him. Oh, another, wait, No! Raike caught her hand, and he’s got a handful of hair, and OH DAMN! He just ran Trixie head first right over the top rope and down to the concrete! That’s going to smart in the morning!
Johnny Raike smirks down at Trixie and then over at Keenan, who had yet to recover, before turning his attention back to Calvin Harris, who was just now getting gingerly back up to his feet. Raike leans against the ropes for a little extra momentum, and rushes forward to try and catch Calvin with a swinging neckbreaker.
Harris, however, spins out of the maneuver, and as Raike stops his momentum, and turns to face his opponent, Calvin catches him with a stiff boot to the midsection and plants him with a DDT. Harris gets to his feet, still favoring his lower abdomen, and spots Trixie pulling herself up onto the ring apron on the rampway side of the ring. With a metaphoric tip of his hat, he charges forward, leaps into the air with his knees extended out in front of him, and nails her square in the chest. She soars through the air from the apron to the steel grating of the rampway, crashing down hard, and flat on her back.
PHILO: That was a hell of a way to be helped out of the ring. Poor Trixie’s seen more of the concrete than the canvas in this contest.
CHARISSA: What can she say, Philo, she’s used to spending a lot of time on her back.
PHILO: Uh, I don’t think that’s where I was going. Either way, Calvin Harris is the lone survivor in the ring, meanwhile, Youth and O’Donnell have made it to their feet, and are trading punches on the other side!
CHARISSA: Yeah, and despite that sweet little moonsault from Youth, it looks like the Irishman has the upper hand again.
Youth takes another stiff right hand from O’Donnell on the chin, and falls back against the steel barricade, the structure the only thing keeping him vertical. CJ steps to the side of Youth, and fires in a vicious knife edge chop that thunders throughout the arena. The fans ‘Whooo’, but he seems to pay them no mind, as he fires in another, and then another. Youth’s chest is lit up like a Christmas tree, before O’Donnell grabs him by the wrist, and whips him hard into the steel steps. He collides with such impact that the steps come apart, separating the top half from the bottom. Youth just slumps against them, head lolling.
In the ring, Keenan finally makes it back up to his feet with a little help from Calvin Harris, who points at Raike, and indicates they should finish it. Keenan nods his agreement, and makes his way towards Raike, pulling the man up to his feet, and holding him up with his hands pinned at his sides so that Harris can have an easier shot. Harris nods, making a quick trot for the ropes, hopping up to springboard off the second, and then spins with his fist to connect with a Meeting Kryptonite. The only problem is, he didn’t connect with Raike, but his own partner, Johnny having slipped out of Keenan’s grasp and dodging out of the way.
PHILO: OH! MEETING KRYPTONITE TO TYLER KEENAN!! I don’t think Calvin Harris meant to do that, and he’s berating Keenan for not keeping a better hold on Johnny Raike, which, he better not turn around or…..FULL FRONTAL!! Full Frontal on Calvin Harris by Johnny Raike!
CHARISSA: That man sure does know how to do it!
PHILO: Damn right, and he’s going for a cover on Harris!
1…
2…
C.J. O’Donnell comes in out of nowhere before the count of three, nailing Raike with a football like kick to the midsection, knocking him off of his cover of Calvin Harris.
CHARISSA: Big save for the Irishman. If he hadn’t shown up when he did, Raike and Youth would be on their way to the St. Patrick’s Day extravaganza, for all the help Youth’s been in this match.
PHILO: Hey! He had his hands full with O’Donnell until The Distinguished decided to break up that three count. Raike is getting to his feet, and O’Donnell’s just waiting for him a few paces away….IRISH KNOWLEDGE!!!
CHARISSA: That knee damn near tore the Fuckboi’s head off!
PHILO: Damn right! O’Donnell drops for a cover!
1…
2…
With blinding speed Youth appears on the ring apron, and with a springboard that looks effortless he comes crashing down onto O’Donnell’s back with a sentan ending the count. His momentum doesn’t stop there as he rolls up to his feet, and just as O’Donnell rises up off of Johnny Raike to deal with this new assault, he meets a superkick that rattles his jaw, and sends him sprawling to the mat.
PHILO: SLOW BURN! JESUS CHRIST! How many finishers are we going to see in this match!
CHARISSA: Looks like we’ve got room for one more, cause while Youth’s trying to recover long enough to make a pin, looks like Trixie is up, and moving towards the ring.
Youth clutches at his back, surveying the fallen bodies littering the ring, when Trixie slides under the bottom rope and rises up behind him. Just as he’s about to go for a cover on
O’Donnell, she spins him around and delivers a succession of three vicious forearms that throw him off balance. She then takes him by the hand and whips him towards the only ropes without bodies in the way, but he reverses it, sending her instead. He readies himself for a clothesline as she rebounds, but unfortunately, Trixie has other ideas.
PHILO: SHINING APPRENTICE!! Youth just went down like a sack of potatoes, and now Trixie is the last one standing in the ring!
CHARISSA: That feisty bitch just might have a date with destiny on St. Patrick’s Day.
PHILO: Not if she doesn’t stop her gyrating around the ring, and polish one of these guys off.
As Trixie shows off for the fans, the males in attendance seeming to appreciate it immensely, Tyler Keenan makes it up to his feet, staring straight ahead at the vixen. The only man yet to perform a finish, Keenan positions himself right behind her, begging her to turn around. As the fans try to warn Trixie, she becomes aware something isn’t right, and when she twirls to survey the ring, she’s met with a stiff boot that doubles her over by Keenan. With her head down, Keenan steps up, wrapping his arms around her waist, and then lifting her up into a powerbomb position. Trixie gives up a good effort by hammering rights down into Keenan’s face, but to no avail, as he rushes across the ring, almost stumbling over his own partner, but non-the-less, delivering a devastating turnbuckle powerbomb to the blonde bombshell.
PHILO: DÉJÀ VU!!
CHARISSA: Really? I haven’t seen that move before. Are you talking about last show?
PHILO: No, that’s the name of Tyler Keenan’s finisher. Déjà Vu. And he just nailed it on Trixie, who’s crumpled up in a heap. Keenan pulling Trixie out from the corner, and going for a cover, but there’s too many bodies in the ring.
Just as Keenan went for the cover and A-Ref got into position, Johnny Raike lifted his foot and threw his boot forward to strike Keenan in the head. Tyler shook the cobwebs loose, and went for another attempt, but again, Raike nailed him with a boot, this one even stiffer, causing Keenan to abandon the cover and slide to the outside of the ring.
The other members of the match, with the exception of Trixie, began to stir. As Calvin Harris pulls himself up by the ropes, Raike waits for him to get fully upright before rushing him with a clothesline that sends him up and over the top rope to the concrete below.
Keenan seeing this stumbles over to where his partner landed, reaching down to help him to his feet, realizing that if they didn’t get a new game plan then they weren’t going anywhere. Raike turns his attention back to the ring, where C.J. O’Donnell is pulling himself up on the opposite side. Much like Keenan, he waits till the Irishman had made it fully to his feet, before measuring him with another clothesline.
This time, however, his opponent side steps out of the way, and drops to his side delivering a drop toe hold that sends Raike throat first down across the middle rope. O’Donnell, as quick as he can, gets to his feet, takes off to the opposite side, where he is unceremoniously tripped up by Harris and Keenan, who retain their hold on his legs, and promptly jerk him out under the bottom rope.
CHARISSA: Them two boys there are finally starting to get it. No matter how much you might hate your partner, this is a tag match, and you gotta work together if you want that #1 Contender’s match. Now, beat his ass!
PHILO: You know, I hate to admit this, but you’re right. You’re also kind of scary when you’re right. Sounds like Keenan and Harris heard you, though, cause they are throwing down one major beating to C.J. O’Donnell.
Trixie, at least halfway recovered from the turnbuckle powerbomb, gets herself vertical just in time to see her tag partner getting proverbially mugged on the outside. She looks over at Johnny Raike, still draped across the middle rope, and then signals to the crowd with a flirtatious wink that something awesome was about to happen. With a quick step towards Raike, she turns at the last second, planting her ass firmly on the man’s shoulder and driving his throat further into the ropes. When she springs off of him, she continues her momentum towards the opposite side where her partner is taking a beating, and springboards over the ropes to land on both Harris and Keenan, wiping them out.
PHILO: Wow! Trixie just reminded all of us why she’s in this match! What a move!
CHARISSA: You know, I don’t normally go for the prissy types, but she’s proving you can look good while you’re kicking ass. Got to respect that.
The only two men left in the ring are the team of Johnny Raike and Flaming Youth, who grimly pulls himself up, and stands there looking at his partner draped across the ropes. He stumbles over, reaching down and hooking Raike’s arm, and pulls the man up to his feet. As soon as Johnny see’s who’s helping him up, he jerks his arm away, and both men are left staring at each other. Youth says something, which Raike replies heatedly, before both men notice that the other four participants on the opposite end of the ring are gaining their footing. Raike points to the outside of the ring, and Youth simply flashes him a grin and nods, before rushing towards the ropes, and dropping down to all fours. The crowd falls into silence as Raike, a determined look on his face, sprints across the ring, steps up onto Youth’s back, and then sails over the top rope to come crashing down on all four opponents. Once again, everyone is wiped out on the outside of the ring. The hushed crowd erupts in unison, as Youth pops back up to survey the damage. He wipes his hands to signal ‘taking out the trash’, and then takes a position at the opposite end of the ring.
PHILO: You know, I don’t know what else we could see out of this match. Everyone’s hit a finisher. Everything’s been back and forth. And that splancha by Raike might have just put an exclamation mark on it.
CHARISSA: Yeah, normally I’d agree with you Philo, but that guy left in the ring makes me think we got at least one more big move left to witness.
As the five competitors begin to stir on the outside of the ring, Youth lowers his head and nods to the beat of some unseen tune, kicking his feet behind him like a bull getting ready to charge. Raike and Trixie are the first up, followed by O’Donnell and Harris. The four begin exchanging sluggish strikes until Keenan is back on his feet, and then Harris and Keenan begin double teaming O’Donnell once again while Raike and Trixie continue punching.
When Youth looks up from his tune, he can see that all five have made it back to their feet, and without delay he charges across the ring, loping first up to the top rope, walking it a little ways, and then spring boarding out into a spinning somersault splancha. He lands right in the center of the mass of humanity in front of him, and like the epicenter of a blast, him being the grenade, everyone is blown back down to the concrete. The arena is deafening as the fans all come to their feet.
CHARISSA: Well, there it is. They’re all dead.
PHILO: I can’t even hear you right now. Between Trixie’s leap, Raike’s splancha, and whatever the hell that just was……this place has come unglued!
Charissa: You know, the problem with shit like that, is how the hell does anyone recover from it. Sure, everyone’s down again, but he sure as hell ain’t looking too good neither.
PHILO: That’s why they call it high risk.
CHARISSA: That’s all you gotta say? Shit, I could have got that off of the back of one of the action figures.
PHILO: We have action figures now?
CHARISSA: Yeah, haven’t you seen them. They’re out there at the merchandise table.
PHILO: Well, that’s just great! Thanks a lot production team for making sure your commentators know about key marketing strategies before we go live on the air!
CHARISSA: Relax! They only told me about it cause you were getting high out in the back with Brandy Irving. That bitch really is to pieces ever since Sam disappeared. Someone needs to get her a Quaalude or something.
PHILO: Oooooo! They still make those!
As the commentators continue their conversation, movement can be seen on the floor out in front of them. C.J. O'Donnell, by use of the ring apron, pulls himself up to his feet, and slides back into the ring. Calvin Harris, slowly but surely, follows him. O'Donnell crawls across the ring on his hands and knee's until reaching the far ropes, in which he uses them to get vertical. He sees Harris as he does the same, and the two stare across the ring at each other with venom in their eyes. With a sudden burst of speed, Harris charges across the ring at O'Donnell who ducks under his clothesline attempt, and awaits for him to return. Harris bounces off the ropes for extra momentum, and as he rushes forward once again, O'Donnell drops his head for a back body drop. Harris, seeing this, leap frogs over O'Donnell, and lands behind him, never stopping his gallop, and bouncing off the ropes once again. As he returns, O'Donnell spins back around and takes a few steps of his own before leaping at the same time Harris does, both men catching each other in midair with double crossbodies. They crash to the center of the ring, both holding their midsections.
CHARISSA: Looks like both of those guys had the same idea, and now their both paying for it.
PHILO: Yeah, but we still have competitors outside the ring here, and Tyler Keenan is helping Johnny Raike up to his feet....ONLY TO RUN HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE RING POST!!
Raike's head bounces off the steel, and he slumps against the ring apron, miraculously still on his feet. Keenan grabs another fistful of hair, and drags his opponent over to the same steel steps Youth had decimated, and drove Raike's head down into the steel once more. A thin line of blood began to trickle down Johnny Raike's face, and Keenan jeered at the crowd, pointing at the damage he had caused.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Youth pulled himself up, and looked across the ring to where Johnny Raike was being manhandled by Keenan. He took off in a sprint around the opposite side of the ring, and the fans on the front row all came to their feet in excitement to see what was about to happen next. When Youth passed the ramp, he sprung up onto the guard rail, running across it's surface as easily as a cat, until finally reaching where Tyler Keenan still had a hold on Johnny Raike. Youth dove from the guard rail out towards Keenan, attempting a drop kick, but at the last second, Keenan let loose of Raike, caught Youth around the midsection, and sat down abruptly into a sidewalk slam on the surface of the steel steps. Both men fell away from the maneuver injured, Keenan grabbing at his ass, and Youth clutching at his back.
PHILO: Jesus Christ! What a move by Tyler Keenan, but at what cost?!?
CHARISSA: (In a mimicking voice) Well that's why they call it high risk.
While all of this was going on, Trixie helps herself into the ring by use of the ropes, and then into a corner where she can see everything that's going on. O'Donnell has crawled to the corner across from her, and Harris sat on one knee, looking over at the Irishman. As C.J. got to his feet, Harris did the same, not realizing that Trixie was directly behind him. O'Donnell signaled to Trixie, tipping Harris off, but not in enough time to get out of their way. Trixie and O'Donnell rushed out from their corners, Trixie going low with a chop block, and O'Donnell going high with a dropkick. Harris' body was sent spinning due to the two opposing directions, and he crashed hard to the mat because of it. O'Donnell and Trixie both got to their feet, just in time for a bloody Johnny Raike to slide into the ring, and nail O'Donnell from behind and send him sailing through the ropes to the concrete below. Trixie didn't wait to see her partner's fall before reaching out and grabbing Raike by the hair of the head, and yanking him down to meet her uprising knee. She continued the maneuver three more times, each blow knocking Raike further and further towards the corner. Once she was there, she shoved him back into the turnbuckle, and started lighting him up with vicious chops that echoed through out the arena.
PHILO: Trixie has got Johnny Raike tied up in the corner with chops, but she doesn't see Calvin Harris getting to his feet!
CHARISSA: There's just too much going on in this match, Philo. I can't keep up with all of the action.
PHILO: Well, Harris is up now, and he just took off in a sprint, and DOUBLE SPLASH crushes Trixie into Johnny Raike, but Harris isn't letting Trixie fall to the mat, he's dragging her back out to the center of the ring, and THE ART OF BETRAYAL!!! This has got to be it!
CHARISSA: Harris with a cover..
1.....
2....
3NO!
CHARISSA: Saved by Johnny Raike!
Harris pops up to his feet, and Raike catches him with a right hand for his trouble, or tries to, but Calvin ducks. As Raike spins through, Harris hooks him around the waist, and pushes Johnny towards the ropes. Johnny hit's chest first, and Calvin Harris uses the ropes momentum to fall backwards, pulling Johnny down onto his shoulders, and rolling back up to his feet so that Raike's legs are trapped under him for a pin.
1...
2...
3NO!
Keenan comes out of nowhere, shoving Calvin Harris off of Raike.
PHILO: What the fuck is Tyler Keenan doing? He just cost his team the match?
CHARISSA: I don't know, but those two are in each other's faces now, and they are doing an awful lot of talking.
PHILO: I can't believe this. Tyler Keenan is pointing to the outside, claiming that Harris should have helped him when he saw that he was injured! This is ridiculous!
CHARISSA: Well, we said from the beginning that none of these people really get along.
Keenan pokes his finger into Calvin Harris' chest, resulting in Harris shoving his partner away from him in disgust. Keenan stares at Harris, and then holds his hands up, and nods, pointing down at Johnny Raike. Harris eyes Keenan, while reaching down to grab Raike, but as soon as he has a hold on the man, Keenan bursts forward with a clothesline attempt. Harris expertly ducks it, and when Keenan turns around he's met by a boot from Harris, who immediately hooks him around the head, lifts him up like a suplex, but then changes directions, dropping straight down, and driving Keenan's head down into the mat.
PHILO: BRAINBUSTER BY CALVIN HARRIS ON TYLER KEENAN! HIS OWN PARTNER!
CHARISSA: Yeah, but look on the ring apron. Youth just got up there, and Harris doesn't even see him. Look's like he's going to take full advantage of this little spat.
PHILO: Oh damn! He's grabbing the top rope, springboard, AND HE CATCHES HARRIS WITH A SPIN WHEEL KICK!
Youth stumbles to his feet after his maneuver, pulling Harris up, and chucking him out of the ring. Calvin hits the concrete like a sack of potatoes, and Youth steps over to try and get his partner on his feet, but Raike appears out. Trixie slowly begins to crawl towards the ropes, so Youth abandons Johnny to pursue her. By the time he catches up, still clutching his back from the slam on the steps, she has made it almost under the top rope to the outside. He slips his body through the middle and top rope, reaching down to get a handful of hair, when from out of nowhere CJ O'Donnell appears, soaring through the air and catching Youth right in the side of the temple with a knee. Youth's eyes roll into the back of his head, and he lurches forwards, tumbling out of the ring to the outside.
PHILO: Fuck me, what an Irish Knowledge from O'Donnell to Youth! This match has been brutal!
CHARISSA: Sure has, and it looks like Trixie might have been faking a little. She's getting up with some help from the ropes, and she's gyrating in front of her partner as he enters the ring.
PHILO: Yeah, but it doesn't look exactly like CJ is impressed. He's trying to get her to focus, and points down at Tyler Keenan. With everyone else out of the match, this seems like as good a time as any to put him away.
Trixie stops dancing, and looks disappointingly at CJ before shrugging, and stepping over to Johnny Raike and rolls him with the toe of her boot right under the bottom rope and to the floor, leaving Tyler Keenan their sole opponent in the ring. Keenan makes it to one knee, and when he rises the rest of the way up he pauses to stare at Trixie, holding his head from the brainbuster from before. Trixie gives him a wink just as he's nailed from behind by O'Donnell with a double axehandle to the back of his head. When he falls forwards, Trixie is there with a knee lift that catches Keenan right in the face on his way down. Trixie steps back and holds her hand out, palm down, to CJ, who takes Keenan's legs, crosses them, traps them on his thigh, and then hooks both of his arms with his own, and lifts up into a Scorpion Crosslock.
PHILO: CELTIC CURSE! Man, CJ O'Donnell has it locked in tight too, and look at Trixie! She's all up in Keenan's face taunting him!
CHARISSA: Wow, what a bitch! I think I really am starting to like her.
PHILO: A-Ref, who up to this point has just sort of been around to count pins, is asking Keenan who is crying out in agony from the painful submission......And HE'S NODDING HIS HEAD YES! O'Donnell and Trixie have just taken this thing!
A-Ref calls for the bell, and O'Donnell releases his hold on Keenan, who falls unceremoniously to the mat, unsure of which part of his anatomy to clutch at first.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: The winners of this contest, and the two participants in the #1 Contenders Match for the PAW Championship at the St. Patrick's Day Super Show.....CJ O'DONNELL AND TRIXIE!!
After having their hands raised by A-Ref, the two competitors are left in the center of the ring where they turn to face one another. CJ nods his head, and says something, to which Trixie just winks, and then starts to back towards the ropes. When she reaches them, she blows him a kiss, followed by a Cheshire grin, slipping out of the ring, and continuing to back up the rampway with a sway in her hips. CJ watches all of this with a grim smile, and the camera focuses in on it before fading to black.
CHARISSA: Yeah, and it’s one of the reasons that DVD for WICKED#4 will never see the light of day. After that vicious post match attack from Stevie Harris on Johnny Raike, using that noose….well, I just don’t see how Raike will ever be the same again.
PHILO: I wouldn’t count the most liberated man in professional wrestling out yet, Charissa. Johnny Raike is one of the toughest competitors that PAW has ever seen, and he’s one of our participants in this match tonight.
CHARISSA: Yeah, but he’s partnered up with Flaming Youth, co-member of The BombTrax, and those two have a history going all the way back to that other place.
PHILO: True, but those two are professionals, and this is a match that will determine who will go on to face one another in a #1 Contender match at our St. Patrick’s Day Super Show. Surely they’ll be able to put their differences aside in order to ensure they are the two participants that advance.
CHARISSA: Maybe, but you have to wonder whether the other two teams will be able to do that. I get the distinct vibe that O’Donnell is not the kind of guy who plays well with others. Matter of fact, none of these people do. Calvin Harris is a man unto himself. Tyler Keenan is pretty much in love with himself, and for good reason. And Trixie, well, she thinks she’s God’s gift to the world because she’s some sort of self-imposed beauty queen. You know, that bit….
PHILO: (cutting Charissa off) Yeah, yeah. Every time another pretty face comes down the rampway you feel threatened. We get it.
Charissa looks at Philo with that ‘excuse me’ expression just about the time the arena goes dark, and words appear on the big screen above the entrance.
"When the sun rises
I wake up and chase my dreams
I won't regret when the sun sets
Cause I live MY LIFE like I'm a beast
I'm a mothafucking beast"
"Ayo back to make you run around the game like it’s a fire
I spit acid bitch like I got cyanide in my saliva
Watch me wet and heat shit up like I'm a washer and a dryer
While I beat you in your head until you tire"
"I'm a motherfucking beast"
As the beginning notes of "Beast" begins to play, the arena goes to darkness. With the beats kicking in, "The Distinguished" slowly walks out with a huge smirk on his face as the fans welcome him with a chorus of boos throughout the arena.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: "Coming to the ring, weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds, from Boston, Massachusetts, representing "The Unstable"! He is "THE DISTINGUISHED" CEE JAY OOOOOO... DDOONNNNEELLLL!!!"
As O'Donnell slowly makes his way down to the ring he cannot help but take in all the insults and jeers from the crowd.
"I'ma motherfucking beast
I'ma, I'ma fuckin' beast
I'ma mothafuckin' beast
Fucking mothafucking beast
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)"
"I'm a motherfucking beast right
Homie welcome to the east side, where the killers reside
We playing war games, please hide
Ain't no signs of peace, so fuck a peace sign, we ride
Bust shots from a car seat
Or maybe hang you 'til your neck is broke
Choke with you with a Stethoscope
That's how I kill a motherfucker in a heartbeat on a dark street"
Caleb reaches the end of the entrance way and is making his way up the ring steps. Once CJ gets on the top step he raises his arms up in the air which only causes more boos from the audience tonight.
"I'ma I'ma fuckin' beast!
I'ma mothafuckin' beast
Fucking mothafucking beast
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems)
I'ma motherfuckin' beast (you don't want problems with me)"
CJ enters the ring and he takes off his black Unstable t-shirt. He rolls it into a ball and acts like he is about to toss it into the crowd but instead he drops it over the top ropes and it lands on the outside on the floor. CJ begins to stretch in the corner as he awaits for the bell to ring.
"I'm a motherfucking beast!"
‘Take It Off’ by the Donna’s kicks out over the PA system, and Trixie breaks through the curtain and does a twirl to bend over and showcase her firm apple bottom to the crowd before turning around to flaunt her ring attire and bite her finger. She pauses on stage just for a moment in this pose before walking in a straight line down the ramp, swaying her hips to get the attention of the guys in the crowd, blowing kisses at the guys and enjoying the jealousy of the girls.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: Introducing his partner, standing at 5’6” tall, and weighting in at 133 lbs, hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, she is ‘The Blonde Beauty’…..TRIXIEEEE!!!!
Trixie steps onto the apron and gyrates her hips before stepping into the ring very slowly to allow all the photos to be taken before finally stepping to the center of the ring and giving a playful wink to the referee and C.J. O’Donnell.
O’Donnell’s response is cut off by the opening riff of "Your Betrayal" by Bullet For My Valentine bouncing off the arena's speakers. The fans instantly recognized the song, and their attitudes completely and utterly changed to one of loathing. Only a few seconds had passed since the song began to play when the curtain could be seen being slowly pulled back. Stepping out a moment later was none other than the man known as the Martyr of Pro Wrestling himself, Calvin Harris. Seeing the man causes the crowd to uproar again, but this time with louder boos and jeers. Standing center of the stage, Calvin looks around the ring with a smug smirk on his lips. The type of smug smirk that would make people want to knock it right off his expression. Calvin begins stretching his arms out to either side of him, almost like he was encouraging the crowd to give him more hate. After a few moments he lowered his arms back down at his side and began to slowly make his way down the ramp.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: And one of their opponents, Introducing at this time all the way from Chicago, Illinois. Weighing in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds. He is known as the Martyr of Pro Wrestling. . . CALVIN HARRIS!
By the time that he has been introduced to the crowd, Calvin is halfway down the ramp, seeming to be in no hurry. His smirk remains on his expression as he lets out a couple of chuckles at those fans he deems pathetic until reaching the ringside area. Calvin takes a couple of steps towards the ring and reaches up with his right hand grabbing the middle rope. He proceeds to pull himself up onto the apron and onto his knees, and in one swift motion pushes himself right up to his feet. He lifts one leg over the middle rope, ducks down under the top, and finds himself in the ring. Calvin takes the nearest turnbuckle and climbs to the second rung and looks out at the booing crowd. The fans continued to boo at the slow procession.
All of a sudden he brings his hands up and out to each side of him while tilting his head back a bit. It was almost like he was in a position where he was forcing the crowd to "bask" in all his glory or as if he was wanting them to "praise" him. As his theme faded away, Calvin comes out of the pose, turns himself around, leaps down from the turnbuckle and bounces around on his feet staring across the ring at O’Donnell and Trixie.
Trixie rolls her eyes at Harris while O’Donnell looks more than eager to wipe the smile off his face. The tension is broken up as ‘Hate Me’ by Escape the Fate begins to play, and a spotlight shines down on the middle of the stage. As the lead singer screams, Keenan walks out from behind the curtain with his hands firmly dug in the pockets of the black hoodie he is wearing, hood up to hide his hair. He walks out further onto the stage, before he spins on his heels, throwing his head back to remove the hood. He immediately then rips his hands from his pockets and outstretches them as gold rain-like pyro rains down in front of him. After a few seconds, he spins back around and folds his arms, before screaming out with a smile on his face and walking down to the ring.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: And his partner, standing at 6’1” tall, and weighting in at 200 lbs. Hailing from Hollywood, California….The Modern-Day Wordsmith….TYLER KEENAN!!
Keenan hopped up onto the ring apron, his grin still plastered on his face as he jumped over the top rope and into the ring. He isn’t allowed much fanfare as the opening chords to ‘Stranglehold’ by Ted Nugent abruptly bring his entrance to an end. Red strobe lights flicker all around the building, and finally settle on the entry way where the silhouette of Flaming Youth can be seen standing in the curtain. These words can be seen clearly up on the four screens.
YOUTH IS A MINDSET
MY FLAME IS ETERNAL
At the chorus of the song he bursts through, and spins around on the rampway, reaching out to the crowd who scream in adulation. He comes to a teetering stop facing the ring, a coy grin on his face, shaking his finger ‘no’ tauntingly at the four competitors already in the ring.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: And their opponents, introducing first, standing at 5’10” tall, and weighting in at 195 lbs. Hailing from New Orleans, Louisiana….One half of The BombTrax….FLAMING YOUTH!!!
At the mention of his name he takes off into a sprint to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope, and popping up with his hands over his head. Dashing over to the corner he bounds up to the second rope, and scans the crowd, talking jive as the fans soak it all up. With a short hop, he spins so that he’s now facing the ring, and takes a seat on the top rope to await his partner, while keeping a wary eye on the other four in the ring.
‘Pure Morning’ by Placebo wafts across the speakers in the arena, and without any further a-do Johnny Raike emerges from behind the curtain, wearing a black vinyl trench coat over his ring gear. He wastes no time up on the stage before sauntering down the rampway totally lost in the music, running his hands sensually over his own chest.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: Introducing his partner, standing at 6’1” tall, and weighting in at 195 lbs. Hailing from Astoria, Queens, New York…..The Most Liberated Man In Wrestling….JOHNNY RAIKE!!!!
Johnny stops for a minute, eyeing a hotty in the front row, and makes his way over, producing a business card from somewhere in his jacket. She swoons, when he notices behind her an even more attractive male. He grins, and produces a second card for him, and then uses his finger to indicate both of them, before rubbing the same finger up and down his body. With a flash of a smile, Raike removes his coat, storms up the steps, and then hops into the ring, coming to a stop to look up at the other five members of what could only be described as a cluster fuck.
Youth hops down from his perch now, stepping over to Raike, who is supposed to be his partner for the evening. As the two men exchange words, C.J. O'Donnell steps over and mouths something to Raike, who turns his attention from Youth to step right up into O'Donnell's face.
The other combatants draw closer as the two opponents continue jawing and begin to move to the center of the ring, still nose to nose. Raike makes a final comment to O'Donnell, which is blatantly unflattering, resulting in C.J. raring back to take a swing. As the punch sails through the air, Raike ducks, and O'Donnell follows through with a fist right into Flaming Youth's mouth. In that moment, time stands still. All six competitors, the fans, A-Ref, everyone falls into a silence. The entire situation is summed up by our color commentator who earns every bit of that moniker with her next statement.
CHARISSA: (in slow motion) Ooooohhhh Shiiiittttt!!
In a flash, time catches back up to the present, and all hell breaks loose, as Youth lunges at O'Donnell, sending both men between the ropes and to the outside on the concrete. Both men roll around, trading punches and cheap shots where they can find them.
Raike smirks at his partner’s misfortune, but doesn’t get to enjoy it for long, as Tyler Keenan rushes Raike and catches him around the midsection, driving him back into the far corner. Keenan continues his shoulder thrusts, as Raike brings the point of his elbow down into the man’s shoulders.
Calvin Harris just shakes his head at all of this, before turning to look directly at Trixie who just shrugs. She winks in his direction, and just as he’s about to return the gesture, she brings the tip of her boot directly up into his crotch for what she likes to call the ‘Couldn’t Help Myself'. His eyes bulge from their sockets as he reaches for his nether regions, and crumples to the mat, accompanied by applaud and cheers from the fans for his discomfort.
PHILO: Well, that’s it, Pandemonium just broke open its gates!
CHARISSA: Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Kicked that mother fucker right in the nuts! Maybe I was wrong about ole’ girl.
PHILO: What, now you like her?
CHARISSA: I wouldn’t go that far, but she knows what a girl likes to see.
The commentators are abruptly cut off as Flaming Youth’s head bounces off their table, O’Donnell looming over him with a grim look on his face. He grabs the high flyer by another fist full of hair, and drives his head once again back down into the announce table, this time with authority. Youth stumbles away, holding his face, as O’Donnell trudges after him. Just as they reach the steps, O’Donnell spins youth around, and after a few hard right hands, takes the man by the hand, and sends him sailing towards the steel barricade.
At the absolute last second Youth leaps up, landing perfectly on top of the steel structure, and then springs backwards into a moonsault that catches O’Donnell completely by surprise. Both men are wiped out by the maneuver, while the action continues in the ring.
Meanwhile, in the ring, Tyler Keenan thrusts his shoulder one final time into Raike’s midsection, before rising up, and firing in right hands. Raike slumps in the corner, dazed from the assault, before Tyler takes Raike by the hand to throw him to the far side. His plan is stalled, however, as he looks over his shoulder to see Trixie standing over his partner, nudging him with the heel of her boot.
Keenan abandons Raike to take on Trixie, but Johnny has other ideas as he holds onto Tyler before he can start over there. Keenan spins back around to deal with the Most Liberated Man In Wrestling, but instead, is pulled into his clutching arms, and sent for a ride courtesy of an overhead belly to belly by Raike. Still relatively close to the corner they had been battling in, Keenan’s body has nowhere to land as the small of his back strikes the top turnbuckle, and he crashes awkwardly down onto his neck and shoulders.
PHILO: Jesus Christ! Keenan’s going to need a fucking toke after that!
CHARISSA: Damn Right! Do you think Johnny would give me one of those business cards? I mean, I’d like to see what’s going on behind the scenes at that kissing booth of his.
PHILO: Really, Charissa? Really? We’ve got a match of this magnitude, both inside and outside the ring, and you’re thinking about bumping uglies with Johnny Raike?
CHARISSA: Listen, Philo, a girl’s got to have her priorities straight. Constance Church thought this gig was set in stone, and look what happened to her! If this shit goes south, I might have a shot with Raike at the Kissing Booth. I hear he likes a girl with some fashionable tattoos.
PHILO: Yeah, well he didn’t like that slap that Trixie just gave him. Oh, another, wait, No! Raike caught her hand, and he’s got a handful of hair, and OH DAMN! He just ran Trixie head first right over the top rope and down to the concrete! That’s going to smart in the morning!
Johnny Raike smirks down at Trixie and then over at Keenan, who had yet to recover, before turning his attention back to Calvin Harris, who was just now getting gingerly back up to his feet. Raike leans against the ropes for a little extra momentum, and rushes forward to try and catch Calvin with a swinging neckbreaker.
Harris, however, spins out of the maneuver, and as Raike stops his momentum, and turns to face his opponent, Calvin catches him with a stiff boot to the midsection and plants him with a DDT. Harris gets to his feet, still favoring his lower abdomen, and spots Trixie pulling herself up onto the ring apron on the rampway side of the ring. With a metaphoric tip of his hat, he charges forward, leaps into the air with his knees extended out in front of him, and nails her square in the chest. She soars through the air from the apron to the steel grating of the rampway, crashing down hard, and flat on her back.
PHILO: That was a hell of a way to be helped out of the ring. Poor Trixie’s seen more of the concrete than the canvas in this contest.
CHARISSA: What can she say, Philo, she’s used to spending a lot of time on her back.
PHILO: Uh, I don’t think that’s where I was going. Either way, Calvin Harris is the lone survivor in the ring, meanwhile, Youth and O’Donnell have made it to their feet, and are trading punches on the other side!
CHARISSA: Yeah, and despite that sweet little moonsault from Youth, it looks like the Irishman has the upper hand again.
Youth takes another stiff right hand from O’Donnell on the chin, and falls back against the steel barricade, the structure the only thing keeping him vertical. CJ steps to the side of Youth, and fires in a vicious knife edge chop that thunders throughout the arena. The fans ‘Whooo’, but he seems to pay them no mind, as he fires in another, and then another. Youth’s chest is lit up like a Christmas tree, before O’Donnell grabs him by the wrist, and whips him hard into the steel steps. He collides with such impact that the steps come apart, separating the top half from the bottom. Youth just slumps against them, head lolling.
In the ring, Keenan finally makes it back up to his feet with a little help from Calvin Harris, who points at Raike, and indicates they should finish it. Keenan nods his agreement, and makes his way towards Raike, pulling the man up to his feet, and holding him up with his hands pinned at his sides so that Harris can have an easier shot. Harris nods, making a quick trot for the ropes, hopping up to springboard off the second, and then spins with his fist to connect with a Meeting Kryptonite. The only problem is, he didn’t connect with Raike, but his own partner, Johnny having slipped out of Keenan’s grasp and dodging out of the way.
PHILO: OH! MEETING KRYPTONITE TO TYLER KEENAN!! I don’t think Calvin Harris meant to do that, and he’s berating Keenan for not keeping a better hold on Johnny Raike, which, he better not turn around or…..FULL FRONTAL!! Full Frontal on Calvin Harris by Johnny Raike!
CHARISSA: That man sure does know how to do it!
PHILO: Damn right, and he’s going for a cover on Harris!
1…
2…
C.J. O’Donnell comes in out of nowhere before the count of three, nailing Raike with a football like kick to the midsection, knocking him off of his cover of Calvin Harris.
CHARISSA: Big save for the Irishman. If he hadn’t shown up when he did, Raike and Youth would be on their way to the St. Patrick’s Day extravaganza, for all the help Youth’s been in this match.
PHILO: Hey! He had his hands full with O’Donnell until The Distinguished decided to break up that three count. Raike is getting to his feet, and O’Donnell’s just waiting for him a few paces away….IRISH KNOWLEDGE!!!
CHARISSA: That knee damn near tore the Fuckboi’s head off!
PHILO: Damn right! O’Donnell drops for a cover!
1…
2…
With blinding speed Youth appears on the ring apron, and with a springboard that looks effortless he comes crashing down onto O’Donnell’s back with a sentan ending the count. His momentum doesn’t stop there as he rolls up to his feet, and just as O’Donnell rises up off of Johnny Raike to deal with this new assault, he meets a superkick that rattles his jaw, and sends him sprawling to the mat.
PHILO: SLOW BURN! JESUS CHRIST! How many finishers are we going to see in this match!
CHARISSA: Looks like we’ve got room for one more, cause while Youth’s trying to recover long enough to make a pin, looks like Trixie is up, and moving towards the ring.
Youth clutches at his back, surveying the fallen bodies littering the ring, when Trixie slides under the bottom rope and rises up behind him. Just as he’s about to go for a cover on
O’Donnell, she spins him around and delivers a succession of three vicious forearms that throw him off balance. She then takes him by the hand and whips him towards the only ropes without bodies in the way, but he reverses it, sending her instead. He readies himself for a clothesline as she rebounds, but unfortunately, Trixie has other ideas.
PHILO: SHINING APPRENTICE!! Youth just went down like a sack of potatoes, and now Trixie is the last one standing in the ring!
CHARISSA: That feisty bitch just might have a date with destiny on St. Patrick’s Day.
PHILO: Not if she doesn’t stop her gyrating around the ring, and polish one of these guys off.
As Trixie shows off for the fans, the males in attendance seeming to appreciate it immensely, Tyler Keenan makes it up to his feet, staring straight ahead at the vixen. The only man yet to perform a finish, Keenan positions himself right behind her, begging her to turn around. As the fans try to warn Trixie, she becomes aware something isn’t right, and when she twirls to survey the ring, she’s met with a stiff boot that doubles her over by Keenan. With her head down, Keenan steps up, wrapping his arms around her waist, and then lifting her up into a powerbomb position. Trixie gives up a good effort by hammering rights down into Keenan’s face, but to no avail, as he rushes across the ring, almost stumbling over his own partner, but non-the-less, delivering a devastating turnbuckle powerbomb to the blonde bombshell.
PHILO: DÉJÀ VU!!
CHARISSA: Really? I haven’t seen that move before. Are you talking about last show?
PHILO: No, that’s the name of Tyler Keenan’s finisher. Déjà Vu. And he just nailed it on Trixie, who’s crumpled up in a heap. Keenan pulling Trixie out from the corner, and going for a cover, but there’s too many bodies in the ring.
Just as Keenan went for the cover and A-Ref got into position, Johnny Raike lifted his foot and threw his boot forward to strike Keenan in the head. Tyler shook the cobwebs loose, and went for another attempt, but again, Raike nailed him with a boot, this one even stiffer, causing Keenan to abandon the cover and slide to the outside of the ring.
The other members of the match, with the exception of Trixie, began to stir. As Calvin Harris pulls himself up by the ropes, Raike waits for him to get fully upright before rushing him with a clothesline that sends him up and over the top rope to the concrete below.
Keenan seeing this stumbles over to where his partner landed, reaching down to help him to his feet, realizing that if they didn’t get a new game plan then they weren’t going anywhere. Raike turns his attention back to the ring, where C.J. O’Donnell is pulling himself up on the opposite side. Much like Keenan, he waits till the Irishman had made it fully to his feet, before measuring him with another clothesline.
This time, however, his opponent side steps out of the way, and drops to his side delivering a drop toe hold that sends Raike throat first down across the middle rope. O’Donnell, as quick as he can, gets to his feet, takes off to the opposite side, where he is unceremoniously tripped up by Harris and Keenan, who retain their hold on his legs, and promptly jerk him out under the bottom rope.
CHARISSA: Them two boys there are finally starting to get it. No matter how much you might hate your partner, this is a tag match, and you gotta work together if you want that #1 Contender’s match. Now, beat his ass!
PHILO: You know, I hate to admit this, but you’re right. You’re also kind of scary when you’re right. Sounds like Keenan and Harris heard you, though, cause they are throwing down one major beating to C.J. O’Donnell.
Trixie, at least halfway recovered from the turnbuckle powerbomb, gets herself vertical just in time to see her tag partner getting proverbially mugged on the outside. She looks over at Johnny Raike, still draped across the middle rope, and then signals to the crowd with a flirtatious wink that something awesome was about to happen. With a quick step towards Raike, she turns at the last second, planting her ass firmly on the man’s shoulder and driving his throat further into the ropes. When she springs off of him, she continues her momentum towards the opposite side where her partner is taking a beating, and springboards over the ropes to land on both Harris and Keenan, wiping them out.
PHILO: Wow! Trixie just reminded all of us why she’s in this match! What a move!
CHARISSA: You know, I don’t normally go for the prissy types, but she’s proving you can look good while you’re kicking ass. Got to respect that.
The only two men left in the ring are the team of Johnny Raike and Flaming Youth, who grimly pulls himself up, and stands there looking at his partner draped across the ropes. He stumbles over, reaching down and hooking Raike’s arm, and pulls the man up to his feet. As soon as Johnny see’s who’s helping him up, he jerks his arm away, and both men are left staring at each other. Youth says something, which Raike replies heatedly, before both men notice that the other four participants on the opposite end of the ring are gaining their footing. Raike points to the outside of the ring, and Youth simply flashes him a grin and nods, before rushing towards the ropes, and dropping down to all fours. The crowd falls into silence as Raike, a determined look on his face, sprints across the ring, steps up onto Youth’s back, and then sails over the top rope to come crashing down on all four opponents. Once again, everyone is wiped out on the outside of the ring. The hushed crowd erupts in unison, as Youth pops back up to survey the damage. He wipes his hands to signal ‘taking out the trash’, and then takes a position at the opposite end of the ring.
PHILO: You know, I don’t know what else we could see out of this match. Everyone’s hit a finisher. Everything’s been back and forth. And that splancha by Raike might have just put an exclamation mark on it.
CHARISSA: Yeah, normally I’d agree with you Philo, but that guy left in the ring makes me think we got at least one more big move left to witness.
As the five competitors begin to stir on the outside of the ring, Youth lowers his head and nods to the beat of some unseen tune, kicking his feet behind him like a bull getting ready to charge. Raike and Trixie are the first up, followed by O’Donnell and Harris. The four begin exchanging sluggish strikes until Keenan is back on his feet, and then Harris and Keenan begin double teaming O’Donnell once again while Raike and Trixie continue punching.
When Youth looks up from his tune, he can see that all five have made it back to their feet, and without delay he charges across the ring, loping first up to the top rope, walking it a little ways, and then spring boarding out into a spinning somersault splancha. He lands right in the center of the mass of humanity in front of him, and like the epicenter of a blast, him being the grenade, everyone is blown back down to the concrete. The arena is deafening as the fans all come to their feet.
CHARISSA: Well, there it is. They’re all dead.
PHILO: I can’t even hear you right now. Between Trixie’s leap, Raike’s splancha, and whatever the hell that just was……this place has come unglued!
Charissa: You know, the problem with shit like that, is how the hell does anyone recover from it. Sure, everyone’s down again, but he sure as hell ain’t looking too good neither.
PHILO: That’s why they call it high risk.
CHARISSA: That’s all you gotta say? Shit, I could have got that off of the back of one of the action figures.
PHILO: We have action figures now?
CHARISSA: Yeah, haven’t you seen them. They’re out there at the merchandise table.
PHILO: Well, that’s just great! Thanks a lot production team for making sure your commentators know about key marketing strategies before we go live on the air!
CHARISSA: Relax! They only told me about it cause you were getting high out in the back with Brandy Irving. That bitch really is to pieces ever since Sam disappeared. Someone needs to get her a Quaalude or something.
PHILO: Oooooo! They still make those!
As the commentators continue their conversation, movement can be seen on the floor out in front of them. C.J. O'Donnell, by use of the ring apron, pulls himself up to his feet, and slides back into the ring. Calvin Harris, slowly but surely, follows him. O'Donnell crawls across the ring on his hands and knee's until reaching the far ropes, in which he uses them to get vertical. He sees Harris as he does the same, and the two stare across the ring at each other with venom in their eyes. With a sudden burst of speed, Harris charges across the ring at O'Donnell who ducks under his clothesline attempt, and awaits for him to return. Harris bounces off the ropes for extra momentum, and as he rushes forward once again, O'Donnell drops his head for a back body drop. Harris, seeing this, leap frogs over O'Donnell, and lands behind him, never stopping his gallop, and bouncing off the ropes once again. As he returns, O'Donnell spins back around and takes a few steps of his own before leaping at the same time Harris does, both men catching each other in midair with double crossbodies. They crash to the center of the ring, both holding their midsections.
CHARISSA: Looks like both of those guys had the same idea, and now their both paying for it.
PHILO: Yeah, but we still have competitors outside the ring here, and Tyler Keenan is helping Johnny Raike up to his feet....ONLY TO RUN HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE RING POST!!
Raike's head bounces off the steel, and he slumps against the ring apron, miraculously still on his feet. Keenan grabs another fistful of hair, and drags his opponent over to the same steel steps Youth had decimated, and drove Raike's head down into the steel once more. A thin line of blood began to trickle down Johnny Raike's face, and Keenan jeered at the crowd, pointing at the damage he had caused.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Youth pulled himself up, and looked across the ring to where Johnny Raike was being manhandled by Keenan. He took off in a sprint around the opposite side of the ring, and the fans on the front row all came to their feet in excitement to see what was about to happen next. When Youth passed the ramp, he sprung up onto the guard rail, running across it's surface as easily as a cat, until finally reaching where Tyler Keenan still had a hold on Johnny Raike. Youth dove from the guard rail out towards Keenan, attempting a drop kick, but at the last second, Keenan let loose of Raike, caught Youth around the midsection, and sat down abruptly into a sidewalk slam on the surface of the steel steps. Both men fell away from the maneuver injured, Keenan grabbing at his ass, and Youth clutching at his back.
PHILO: Jesus Christ! What a move by Tyler Keenan, but at what cost?!?
CHARISSA: (In a mimicking voice) Well that's why they call it high risk.
While all of this was going on, Trixie helps herself into the ring by use of the ropes, and then into a corner where she can see everything that's going on. O'Donnell has crawled to the corner across from her, and Harris sat on one knee, looking over at the Irishman. As C.J. got to his feet, Harris did the same, not realizing that Trixie was directly behind him. O'Donnell signaled to Trixie, tipping Harris off, but not in enough time to get out of their way. Trixie and O'Donnell rushed out from their corners, Trixie going low with a chop block, and O'Donnell going high with a dropkick. Harris' body was sent spinning due to the two opposing directions, and he crashed hard to the mat because of it. O'Donnell and Trixie both got to their feet, just in time for a bloody Johnny Raike to slide into the ring, and nail O'Donnell from behind and send him sailing through the ropes to the concrete below. Trixie didn't wait to see her partner's fall before reaching out and grabbing Raike by the hair of the head, and yanking him down to meet her uprising knee. She continued the maneuver three more times, each blow knocking Raike further and further towards the corner. Once she was there, she shoved him back into the turnbuckle, and started lighting him up with vicious chops that echoed through out the arena.
PHILO: Trixie has got Johnny Raike tied up in the corner with chops, but she doesn't see Calvin Harris getting to his feet!
CHARISSA: There's just too much going on in this match, Philo. I can't keep up with all of the action.
PHILO: Well, Harris is up now, and he just took off in a sprint, and DOUBLE SPLASH crushes Trixie into Johnny Raike, but Harris isn't letting Trixie fall to the mat, he's dragging her back out to the center of the ring, and THE ART OF BETRAYAL!!! This has got to be it!
CHARISSA: Harris with a cover..
1.....
2....
3NO!
CHARISSA: Saved by Johnny Raike!
Harris pops up to his feet, and Raike catches him with a right hand for his trouble, or tries to, but Calvin ducks. As Raike spins through, Harris hooks him around the waist, and pushes Johnny towards the ropes. Johnny hit's chest first, and Calvin Harris uses the ropes momentum to fall backwards, pulling Johnny down onto his shoulders, and rolling back up to his feet so that Raike's legs are trapped under him for a pin.
1...
2...
3NO!
Keenan comes out of nowhere, shoving Calvin Harris off of Raike.
PHILO: What the fuck is Tyler Keenan doing? He just cost his team the match?
CHARISSA: I don't know, but those two are in each other's faces now, and they are doing an awful lot of talking.
PHILO: I can't believe this. Tyler Keenan is pointing to the outside, claiming that Harris should have helped him when he saw that he was injured! This is ridiculous!
CHARISSA: Well, we said from the beginning that none of these people really get along.
Keenan pokes his finger into Calvin Harris' chest, resulting in Harris shoving his partner away from him in disgust. Keenan stares at Harris, and then holds his hands up, and nods, pointing down at Johnny Raike. Harris eyes Keenan, while reaching down to grab Raike, but as soon as he has a hold on the man, Keenan bursts forward with a clothesline attempt. Harris expertly ducks it, and when Keenan turns around he's met by a boot from Harris, who immediately hooks him around the head, lifts him up like a suplex, but then changes directions, dropping straight down, and driving Keenan's head down into the mat.
PHILO: BRAINBUSTER BY CALVIN HARRIS ON TYLER KEENAN! HIS OWN PARTNER!
CHARISSA: Yeah, but look on the ring apron. Youth just got up there, and Harris doesn't even see him. Look's like he's going to take full advantage of this little spat.
PHILO: Oh damn! He's grabbing the top rope, springboard, AND HE CATCHES HARRIS WITH A SPIN WHEEL KICK!
Youth stumbles to his feet after his maneuver, pulling Harris up, and chucking him out of the ring. Calvin hits the concrete like a sack of potatoes, and Youth steps over to try and get his partner on his feet, but Raike appears out. Trixie slowly begins to crawl towards the ropes, so Youth abandons Johnny to pursue her. By the time he catches up, still clutching his back from the slam on the steps, she has made it almost under the top rope to the outside. He slips his body through the middle and top rope, reaching down to get a handful of hair, when from out of nowhere CJ O'Donnell appears, soaring through the air and catching Youth right in the side of the temple with a knee. Youth's eyes roll into the back of his head, and he lurches forwards, tumbling out of the ring to the outside.
PHILO: Fuck me, what an Irish Knowledge from O'Donnell to Youth! This match has been brutal!
CHARISSA: Sure has, and it looks like Trixie might have been faking a little. She's getting up with some help from the ropes, and she's gyrating in front of her partner as he enters the ring.
PHILO: Yeah, but it doesn't look exactly like CJ is impressed. He's trying to get her to focus, and points down at Tyler Keenan. With everyone else out of the match, this seems like as good a time as any to put him away.
Trixie stops dancing, and looks disappointingly at CJ before shrugging, and stepping over to Johnny Raike and rolls him with the toe of her boot right under the bottom rope and to the floor, leaving Tyler Keenan their sole opponent in the ring. Keenan makes it to one knee, and when he rises the rest of the way up he pauses to stare at Trixie, holding his head from the brainbuster from before. Trixie gives him a wink just as he's nailed from behind by O'Donnell with a double axehandle to the back of his head. When he falls forwards, Trixie is there with a knee lift that catches Keenan right in the face on his way down. Trixie steps back and holds her hand out, palm down, to CJ, who takes Keenan's legs, crosses them, traps them on his thigh, and then hooks both of his arms with his own, and lifts up into a Scorpion Crosslock.
PHILO: CELTIC CURSE! Man, CJ O'Donnell has it locked in tight too, and look at Trixie! She's all up in Keenan's face taunting him!
CHARISSA: Wow, what a bitch! I think I really am starting to like her.
PHILO: A-Ref, who up to this point has just sort of been around to count pins, is asking Keenan who is crying out in agony from the painful submission......And HE'S NODDING HIS HEAD YES! O'Donnell and Trixie have just taken this thing!
A-Ref calls for the bell, and O'Donnell releases his hold on Keenan, who falls unceremoniously to the mat, unsure of which part of his anatomy to clutch at first.
RHONDA ARMSTRONG: The winners of this contest, and the two participants in the #1 Contenders Match for the PAW Championship at the St. Patrick's Day Super Show.....CJ O'DONNELL AND TRIXIE!!
After having their hands raised by A-Ref, the two competitors are left in the center of the ring where they turn to face one another. CJ nods his head, and says something, to which Trixie just winks, and then starts to back towards the ropes. When she reaches them, she blows him a kiss, followed by a Cheshire grin, slipping out of the ring, and continuing to back up the rampway with a sway in her hips. CJ watches all of this with a grim smile, and the camera focuses in on it before fading to black.